A Taste Of Dialog

I am pleased to say that things are shaping up great for my upcoming blog interview series, Observing & Writing Dialog! I’ll be posting the first interview next Monday (2/3/14) and will continue to share author interviews each Monday for the next few months. So far, I have eight authors lined up to chat with us about dialog…and I’m looking for more!

Are you an author? Are you interested in participating in a written interview for my blog? Send me an e-mail at marcylpeska@gmail.com and let’s chat about scheduling and other details.

At the end of each author interview, I’m asking authors to share a dialog gem from their own writing. To whet your appetite, here’s one of my favorite bits of dialog from Magic Within, Book 2 of my Magic All Around series.

Penny ushered Grizz further into the room. “Can I offer you a cup of coffee or a slice of sourdough bread?” He chewed his whiskers before shaking his head.

“Nope. Can’t stay, much as I’d like to. The thing is, Penny, we need some help. Wife says we need a pet sitter.” Grizz scratched his neck through the beard, his hand almost disappearing into the bristling black mass.

Roanan stood next to Penny, one arm settling around her waist. “What’s this about? You’ve never had any pets.”

Grizz shook his head. “I’m telling you, Roanan, forty-eight years of marriage and I still don’t understand the woman. Crack of dawn, she woke me up to tell me she had a dream. Said we need two goldfish and a pet-sitter for ’em. I sure don’t understand it, but I damn well know better than to question it.”

“Well, it’s no problem for us at all,” Penny said. “I’m more than happy to stop in every day and feed the goldfish.”

“Mighty kind of you, Penny, but that just won’t do. Missus said we need a live-in pet sitter. Said I should offer the job to the young lady.” Grizz met my eyes, and I felt heat rise in my cheeks as everyone turned my way. “Said you could use our car, too, since yours burned up.”

I was starting to get the lay of the land, here. This was a contrived house-sitting gig arranged to help me out. Part of me wanted to leap at the opportunity, but another part of me was embarrassed to accept the generosity.

“That’s, um, such a nice offer. I don’t know anything about taking care of fish, though.” I shrugged, and my cheeks got hotter.

Grizz eyed me steadily. “You seem sharp enough, you’ll pick it up. Missus said she’d write out instructions for you and to come over any time tomorrow. Penny knows the house, she’ll show you around.” He turned away and headed for the door, then turned back. “Don’t turn the heat too high and run me out of diesel, hear? Your dog ain’t got much hair on her. You might want to buy her a sweater if we get another cold snap.”

Grizz opened the front door then turned back again. “Missus said to tell you to expect a passel of company. Said they could crash at our place, too. All of ’em. As long as you’re there, young lady, to oversee things.” Grizz grabbed a handful of his beard and gave it a tug, nodded once at Penny and Roanan, and walked out the door.

I hope you enjoyed this taste of my writing and I hope you'll be back to read a lot more dialog snippets and find out what other authors have to say about Observing & Writing Dialog!

Seeking Authors for Interviews!

I am looking for authors to interview for an Observing & Writing Dialog blog series! Each interview will be featured for a week on my blog during February and March (and beyond, if enough interviewees volunteer).

BACKSTORY: In May, last year, I was interviewed by @KayMcFarland for her series of author interviews focused on the topic of genre. She has a terrific blog at kristinmcfarland.com and an amazing collection of interviews. I was inspired by Kristin’s series and decided that, with her narrow focus, she was on to something! I was determined to emulate Kristin but instead got caught up in other projects and quit thinking about it. Then, last week, @tamholland tweeted about a conversation she overheard between a couple at a neighboring table in a restaurant. The conversation managed to surprise both Tamara and I, and it generated a tweet exchange about how much we learn from listening to people talk. I told Tamara about a long ago independent study of dialog that I did in college. We chatted some more about the richness of dialog and the joys of listening to people in conversation and that’s when I remembered Kristin’s interview series! Nervous, but too excited to be reticent, I floated the idea for an interview series to Tamara, and she was enthusiastic, supportive, and encouraging. She even agreed to kick off the Observing & Writing Dialog series with the first interview, scheduled for Monday, February 3^rd! 

Are an author? Would you like to participate in this interview series?

Please e-mail me at marcylpeska@gmail.commarcylpeska@gmail.com so that we can discuss scheduling and other details.

Wondering what we’ll be talking about? Here’s a sneak peak at the questions I’ll ask each author.

First, please tell us a bit about what you write and why dialog is important in your work.

Listening is an integral piece of "people watching". Do you "people listen" automatically, or do you make a deliberate effort?

Humans exchange a lot of information paraverbally, that is, through intonation, pacing/rhythm, volume, and enunciation. What paraverbal cues are you most sensitive or tuned into as an author, an observer, and a participant?

Do you enjoy writing dialog? Is there anything about writing dialog that you find challenging?

What have you learned about yourself and your relationships by observing real life & fictional dialog?

Do you have any characters with catchphrases or verbal habits? What are they? How do these personal quirks add depth to your characters?

Do your characters ever interrupt, cross-talk or change the subject? Do you use communication interference in your dialog? Why/Why not?

Please share with us a dialog gem that you've recently overheard or participated in. What do you think makes this dialog interesting?

Please share with us a dialog gem from your own writing. (If published, please share the title & link to purchase site.) What do you think makes this dialog interesting?

10 Ways To Get Less Done Right Now!

5 Steps To A More Organized Life

10 Secrets From Real-Life Super Moms

Work Smarter & Get More Done

How To Accomplish More With Less

Build Efficiency Into Your Life

3 Exercises To Keep Your Brain Nimble

200 Things You Should Be Doing Every Single Day

You’ve seen these articles, right? They’re nearly ubiquitous. The trend is even hotter at this time of year when the media capitalizes on the notion of New Year’s resolutions.  Some of them even contain great nuggets of inspiration and useful strategies that really do make things healthier, easier, faster or more efficient. And I’m not knocking them. There’s a place for them, especially in a culture like ours which values appearance, accumulation and achievement above contentment, serenity and humble simplicity. 

When I was a kid and Mom was teaching me table manners, grammar and interpersonal skills, I sometimes objected to the lessons.  After all, we were living in a floating shack without plumbing, electricity or even a table, in the middle of nowhere. Why did I need table manners? No, I'm not off topic, stick with me. Mom always explained that she didn’t expect me to use these skills every time I ate, spoke or interacted with someone, but she expected me to master them so that later in life I would have a choice. There would be times, she predicted, when the skills I would choose would be mental toughness, a cocky attitude and an ability to remove the knife from my belt-sheath and snap it open one-handed while keeping my other hand on the throttle of the outboard motor. There would be other times, however, when I would choose to eat, speak and interact with people from other walks of life. There would be times when I would rely upon the skills she was teaching me, to be 
tolerated and even respected. Mom was so right. I’m ever-grateful to her for giving 
me choices!

The same is true, I think, of our cultural fascination with the hare in the ancient story The Tortoise and the Hare. We value the art of busy.  We teach ourselves, and our children, to speed through life. We even try to train the hare to stay focused, organized and efficient. After all, a well-trained hare would certainly have won that fabled race, right? 

The skills and lessons of the hare are valid and useful skills to master but they are not the only skills. We are neglecting the skills and lessons of the tortoise. We are, in general terms and as a whole, not teaching ourselves, or our children, how to go slow.  We are not learning how to relax. To be still. Thus, amongst the multitude of “Get More Done” articles, I’m offering you an alternative.  Here are 10 Tips To Getting Less Done NOW!

1- Stop multi-tasking. Especially when you’re doing something that’s important. Are you talking to a child or loved one? Whatever other stuff you’re doing, stop. Turn away from the computer, turn off the radio, pull the car over…whatever is safe to do in order to focus on the one important thing in this moment.

2- Set aside time to do NOTHING. Ahem, you there. Me? Yes, you. Put down the book/e-reader/smart phone. Just for a few minutes. Try sitting still and not even reading. It's good for you.

3- Say ‘No’ to stuff that doesn’t really matter. Are you detailing your toaster?  Scrubbing your baseboards? Making and sending birthday cards for every human being you’ve ever met? Just Say NO! ;-)

4- Watch the clouds, birds, people, cars, dogs, flowers…

5- Stare at the wall. 

6- Focus on your breathing.

7- Give yourself a massage.

8- Take a silent retreat. It sounds expensive, time consuming and difficult but it doesn't have to be. Try it for just five minutes. Or, if you have the time, five hours.  Your call. Make it work for you.

9- Take a nap. Take a cue from Jeb in the photo above and Zzzzzzzz. 

10- Delegate. This one is cool. Is there someone in your family or work environment who can lighten your load? Allow them to help you. Really. It’s okay if they don’t always get all the suds off the dishes. I know it’s really hard to do, but you can let it go. If I can let it go (and I do manage sometimes), you can too.

There ya go! So simple. Do less.

I hope you enjoy these tips and feel free to let me know in the comments what works for you!



Please feel free to check out my books on Amazon.

 

Writers & Insecurity

Portrait of author by @Siredodo

Dealing with insecurity and negative self-talk is generally part of the human experience, so I don’t know why we author types are especially known for having this problem. Don’t other artists struggle with the same uncertainties? Don’t musicians wonder if people will like the music they write and/or perform? Don’t painters, sculptors, photographers, weavers, knitters, cooks, actors and others have qualms about the quality of their art? Of course, they do, but it’s become a cliché for writers and authors to feel insecure. We all have an inner critic and our inner critics have a purpose (um…to help us self-assess and get even better at what we’re doing) but, that stern voice in my head telling me that I’ve got a problem with commas and semi-colons must be balanced with the confidence that I’m good enough to make it worth learning, improving and continuing.  The last thing we need is an out of control internal critic that tells us we’re no good, nobody wants to read what we write, and we might as well set aside our writing dreams to pursue interests that have nothing to do with stringing letters and words together. Seriously. I don’t need that kind of self-talk and neither do you.

I’ve seen a number of articles recently, addressing self-doubt and insecurity in authors, and I’ve been surprised at the lack of concrete coping strategies offered in those articles. At times, I’m insecure and, having little patience for it, I use the coping skills I learned in therapy and, later, as a provider in the mental health field. Let’s break the mold, shall we? Let’s show the world that writers know how to take charge of our mental health and work through insecurities to become happier and more productive! Down with crippling self-doubt! Up with insightful self-critique followed by more and better WRITING!

Towards those goals, here’s a list of tried and true strategies for coping with that pesky insecurity.

Affirmations- These babies are nifty statements that you craft for yourself. Write ‘em in the first person and make them present tense, then mutter them to yourself repeatedly to counteract your inner critic. For your reading pleasure, here are a couple of my fav’s.

“I am a good writer getting better.”

“My story is worthy of being shared.”

Reality checking- Just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. If you find yourself thinking, “My essay/blog/article/story/book sucks and I’m embarrassed to have shared it” then it’s time to revisit the tweet, letter, e-mail or review you received about how much your writing touched a reader. This is the very best reason to keep a file of correspondence that includes compliments and encouragement you receive from others. Having concrete evidence that your writing doesn’t suck and is valued by others makes reality checking easier. For those of you who’ve been writing but not sharing your work, YOU NEED TO SHARE YOUR WRITING! Unless you’re really, actually and truly writing for your own eyes only and have no desire to ever let someone share what you’ve created, get thee some readers! Friends, family, beta readers, a critique group, social media pals, whoever. Readers will give you feedback, encouragement, confidence and a sense of community. Oh, and reality checking.

Thought stopping- Pretty self-explanatory. Catch yourself saying nasty things (aloud or in your head), recognize that what you’re doing isn’t productive and tell yourself to stop it. Then, get so immersed in affirmations, writing, or other (productive) thoughts and activities that your out of control inner critic gives up and goes to sleep.

Lean on a buddy- If you’re having trouble breaking through insecurity and doubt by yourself, let someone know. Allow someone to help you. Be open to support. Yes, I do this. I reach out to one or more people in my core group of family and friends, confide that I’m struggling and openly ask for a pep talk. I did this recently, while working on Magic Within and not only did I get several fabulous pep talks, but one wise friend actually helped me figure out what was at the root of my concerns (it was a plotting problem) and brainstormed solutions with me.  

Let go- Let go of worrying. Let go of wondering. Let go of trying so hard to sculpt and shape reality. Let go of imagining the future. Let go of what-ifs. Be present in this moment. Write in this moment. Trust yourself. Trust your subconscious to help you create art from words, and let go of over-thinking it.

I hope you’ll find one or more of these strategies helpful and I also hope you’ll share some of your own strategies for coping with an out of control inner critic!

May your day be wonder-filled.

Magic All Around- Kindle

 OR paperback

Magic Within- Kindle

 OR paperback

Lost, Stolen or Strayed: Why I'm Missing

I know I haven't posted for a while.  The photo above is the reason why.  I'm trying to finish this darling and publish it by the week of November 18th.  Yes, this November 18th.  ;-)
When it does go live, I promise to broadcast it here, on Facebook, Twitter, G+, Pinterest, GoodReads and to all of you who are signed up for my email updates.  (Not signed up yet?  Send me an e-mail at marcylpeska@gmail.com.)
Then, I plan to sell paper copies of Book 1 & Book 2 at Juneau's Public Market!  If you're local, I'll be in booth #1 at the JACC.  Please come by and let me inscribe a copy of either or both books for you!

Would You Halt The Seasons In Their Path?

 

Autumn View of Mendenhall Glacier

I had something already written to post here today but when I got on-line this morning, there was sad news awaiting me and my pre-written post went right out the window.  

My friend @PSprehe's beloved pibble Azul died this morning.  I sent a message of condolence but beyond letting my friend know that I love her and empathize, there's little I, or anyone, can do in the face of death.  Death is change and humans are notoriously awkward in the face of change.  We are so resistant to change that, given the power to do so, I suspect many of us would choose to halt the seasons in their path.

I like to talk about balance, but even I would be inclined to seek some ideal changelessness rather than embrace the waxing and waning of life.  If I could, I would run to my friend and her family and turn back the clocks of their lives until Azul was alive and healthy.  I would be like some character in a sci-fi story, changing the details until I could keep Azul from being poisoned.  And would any of you blame me?  Of course not!  We strive to avoid loss and grief.

Yet.  Yet, this is part of life.  The seasons cycle, change, loss and grief are part of the flow and are unavoidable.  I cannot imagine embracing death and loss on this level, but I can imagine a sort of peaceful acceptance of my inability to change this part of reality.  I can, barely, grasp at what the wise refer to as Radical Acceptance.  How close am I to this peaceful acceptance?  Not very close.  I prefer to call it RFA.  The R stands for Radical and the A stands for Acceptance.  The F stands for my grief and my resistance and my outrage that things like this happen.

So, today, I am thinking of Azul who lived a short but happy life filled with love.  I am thinking Azul's strong and resilient family who will weather this season of loss.  I'll be teary and stomp my feet and I will strive for acceptance.  Because I'm still alive.  And you're still alive.  And all we can do is keep going and make the best of it.

I hope that you'll find ways to make the best of it this week, notice some perfect moments, and practice your own brand of RFA as much as possible.  I am sending light and love out to you.