Monday, August 20, 2012

Dogs Spoil Humans!

Woof!  I’m Jeb-a-licious Nibbleheimer Peska.  You can call me Jeb!  I’m a pitsky (pit bull & husky mix) and I’m the guest dogger-blogger here.  When I wag, my tail curls up in the air and I get a hinge in the middle of my spine so that my entire rear end swings to and fro.  Thank you for visiting this blog!  I’m wagging at you right now!  Wanna kiss?

A while back, Mommy posted something about how humans can tell if they are spoiling their dogs.  If you didn’t read it, here’s a link to that post.  I love my mommy and I admit it was a cute piece, but she forgot to mention something important.  We dogs like to spoil our humans, too.  We love our humans sooooooo much!  So, for all you pups who are wondering if you spoil your human companions enough, here’s an easy self-test.  Before you start; wanna kiss? 

·        Do you solve household problems involving bread heels, Brussels sprouts or other foodstuffs deemed inedible by family members?

·        Do you supervise all food preparation?

·        Do you clean up spills?

·        Do you help wash the dishes?

·        Do you spend hours each day making sure that valuable furniture (like the couch) doesn’t float away?

·        Do you carefully wash your humans where they have cuts, scrapes and rashes?  I know, sometimes you just have to insist they move their clothes out of the way.

·        Do you trim, or attempt to trim, your humans’ finger or toe nails?  They clip our nails, why do they put up such a fuss when we try to clip theirs? 

·        Do you give your humans a good de-flea nibble each day whether they need it or not?

·        Do you wash that nasty lotion stuff off your humans each time they put it on?

·        Do you suck on your humans’ hair to keep it squeaky clean?

·        Do you routinely exterminate flies, mosquitoes and spiders around the house?  I know, you’re a very brave hunter!

·        Do you make sure your humans get fresh air and exercise every single day?

·        Do you snuggle with your humans and keep them warm in the bed?  Puppy Pile!

·        Do you greet guests and help them feel welcome?

·        Do you investigate all incoming pockets and packages to keep your household safe?

·        Do you alert your humans to the very real threat that the vacuum cleaner poses?  One of these days, someone’s going to pass a law against those things!

·        Do you ride shotgun in the car to make sure your human is driving safely?  Dogs are great navigators.

·        Do you do ridiculous things, with never a thought for your own dignity, just to make your humans laugh?

·        Do you teach your humans about yoga, mindful living and unconditional love?

·        Do you teach your humans how to be curious, playful and filled with joy when faced with new experiences?


If you answered ‘yes’ to:

0-3 questions ~  You’re not a dog.  I bet you’re a cat.  Which is cool, too.  I looooves kitties!  Wanna kiss?

4-6 questions ~  Hey, you can do better than this.  You should sign up for some continuing education classes to bone-up on your canine skills and put the ‘oof’ back in your ‘woof’!

7-10 questions ~  Good dog!  Your humans are slightly spoiled.  Keep up the great work but be careful not to become complacent.  Remember, your humans depend on you!

11-15 questions ~  Bacon-flavored treats for YOU!  Your humans are well cared for and nicely spoiled.

16-20 questions ~  I bow-wow down to your human spoiling expertise!  You’re a master of your craft and your humans are much-loved and well-supervised.  You are a SUPER DOOOOGGG!
This is how I hold down the couch!